No, seriously, these guys could go any second now.
Today was the day I went to go get a hair cut. Before I describe the experience, I should tell you a few things about myself and haircuts. First of all, I always, always wait entirely too long before getting one. I would say that the time between when I first say, "I need a haircut" to actually getting one averages about one month or so. Seriously. I often even resort to taking a regular pair of scissors to get the hair away from my ears before I head to the barber shop. Of course, after doing that, you don't want to go to the barber shop immediately, lest they notice your horrible temporary fix. So you've got to wait it out a bit more until you can't notice the unevenness and then go to get a haircut. So as I was saying, I often wait far too long before getting a haircut.
The second thing you need to know about my haircut preferences is that I will only go to a barber shop. That's right a barber shop. Not some Salon or stylist or (shudder) a wanna-be salon (those are the worst). Those aren't for me. If it doen't have a barber pole on the premises, I won't be going in there. (Well, unless of course it's a different kind of store entirely. I don't need to have a barber poll in front of a movie rental store, but it would be nice, I suppose.) This is not the only requirement, though. Oh heck no. The barber has to be at least 50 years old or so. I like the assurance of someone who's given the same haircut for the last 30 years. A large majority of the clientele must also be native to the area. It's also nice when you get people who just hang out in the barber shop for a bit every day because it's a part of their routine. Hmm... am I forgetting anything else? Oh, if the barber pulls out a straight razor and warm shaving cream, you've found your man. (Or sometimes a woman. The barber I like back in my hometown is a woman. See, we're all sorts of progressive 'round here.)
All that being said, I already had a nice barber here in the 'ville. He met all of the following requirements in spades. Unfortunately, he's really slow. In fact, given that he's the only person that works there and it takes about half an hour per cut, you could easily be in that little shop for a few hours. For a while, I accepted it. You know, some people meditate, I go to the barber shop. Of course, allotting two hours in a day for one haircut can be a bit ridiculous, so I decided to venture out to see what my other options were.
I knew of another barber shop on the square. I had seen it before and confirmed the existence of a barber pole and old barbers. I also had gotten recommendations from a few friends. Today, I was venturing out on a limb. A haircut is a big deal, as this guy will tell you. (I realize now that I've already reiterrated several of the points he's already made, hopefully things will go in a bit of a different direction now.)
So I gave it a whirl. Perhaps I was feeling rather bold this afternoon. Maybe my sense of adventure had finally caught up with me. Maybe... I should not do the same thing I just did in the post below. Anyway, I pull up to the barber shop and no one is in there. Well, actually the only person who was there was one lone, older barber sitting in the window. As I walked up I gave him a look of acknowledgment and he was preparing the chair before I even got in the door. So far so good. I also noticed that he didn't have any of those new-fangled, fancy-shmancy barber chairs. Oh no. These suckers must have dated back at least a few decades. Things still going well.
Indeed the entire experience went quite well. There was only one catch. Aside from the two of us, there was no one else in the place. Now for some people this wouldn't be that big of a deal. Personally, I prefer to have a little conversation, but ultimately not very much. My ideal barber shop situation, in addition to the aforementioned requirements, involves several people being there, carrying on about local sports teams and politics. Such was not the case here. If I were back home, it wouldn't have been too bad, at least I could have talked about what was going on locally. Kirksville is a bit of a different story, however. There are essentially two different cities in our small town consisting of the college and the 'townies.' In other words, I am fairly ignorant as to the goings on of the local community.
For the first few minutes then, there was awkward silence. Do I talk? What topic would I pick? Can I stand this silence? What is the proper barber shop etiquette for this situation? As it turns out, the proper etiquette is for the barber to introduce a topic of conversation. We talked about football.
Thankfully I was able to carry a conversation on for about 10 minutes or so about the recent NFL playoff games. Also thankfully, the haircut was fast. Indeed, that was the highlight of the situation. I was in and out of the place in 15 minutes flat. Compare that to one and a half or two hours at the other place, and I can live without the warm shaving cream and straight razor. I was so happy with the experience, I even tipped the guy, making the haircut a whopping $9. I have found a new barber.
Thought for the Day
When your girlfriend calls you and says, "Can you give me a few minutes before you come over, I'm trying on dresses," give her about an hour.
Leave a comment