(I have to warn you as I start that I have just spent the last hour learning about Viennese Modernism, specifically in the context of the Philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein and the composer Arnold Schönberg. My thoughts then, are floating around in the realm of the philosophical and esoteric, and as such are a stark difference from the usual sleep-deprived, humorous writings of the past. You have been warned.)
As I celebrate the 6 month anniversary of this blog, I cannot help but to reflect on what has gotten me to this point, as well as look into the future. Certainly this landmark is the spark for such reflection, but perhaps I also find it necessary to explain, i.e. justify, why I have devoted countless hours over the last six months to this project. A brief internet search tells me that my approximately 70,000 written words is of justifiable novel-length, and anytime one writes a novel (though this undertaking is obviously not of that medium) one should certainly have a purpose in doing so. All that being said, I hope, in the course of this essay, to explore the reasons I blog as well as my opinion of blogging in a more general sense.
Already I have touched on one reason and generalization of my blogging in that last sentence. The very nature of this essay is introspective, yet I am making it exceptionally public. Such is the nature of many blogs (although blogs do fall into various categories), and indeed, that philosophy underlines the original reasons I began blogging.
I came across my first blog while searching around the internet as a lonely, single college student. At the time I was voraciously consuming any article I could find about dating, relationships, and ultimately how I could get myself out of my isolated, self-pity state. Ironically enough, the very act of seeking relationship advice on the internet furthered the state from which I was trying to escape, but I digress. In this search I came across a blog about a gentlemen in Oregon who, like me, found social interaction with strangers and specifically attractive strangers of the opposite sex to be not only frightening but also practically impossible. He had decided to set certain goals for himself, to be met on a daily basis, that were aimed at a progressive movement towards extroversion. (I use that word in the more common sense of being outgoing and not the technical sense of drawing energy and gratification from that which is outside the self. One can change behavior, but deeply-rooted personality characteristics are another issue.) Thus, he started his blog as a means of mass accountability to these goals.
I became fascinated with his story, which had unfortunately ended by the time I had gotten there. I discovered though, that I could browse the archives at will and literally retrace the entire story. I did not know that I was looking at a blog at the time, but simply a personal website that was updated on a regular basis. This was a few years ago, however, and I cannot say specifically what prompted my leap into the blogging community. I can only speculate that I rediscovered blogging and, prompted by the memory of my first experience with blogs, decided to become a blogger myself.
I had kept journals in the past, usually for a few months or so, and often had a desire for someone to read it. Of course I was presented with the obvious problem that this personal journal would hardly be appropriate for someone who knew me. It should come as little surprise, then, that my first blog posts were essentially very personal, but also very public journal entries. I did not inform anyone I knew of the blog, with the intention of keeping my audience at a safe distance and allowing myself to express my private thoughts.
I will also not lie and say that I was blogging merely for the exhibitionist thrill. I was also seeking a new community in which I could get involved. That is to say, I was feeling a bit lonely. I have no doubt that this is a common thread amongst a large number of bloggers, even those that write for different purposes. I am by nature a private individual that needs time to be alone, but I also derive much of my self-worth from the friendships I maintain. I'm not saying this is exclusively the case or that I'm not striving to change both aspects of my personality, rather this should be viewed as a generalization of my nature that I am aware of and consciously attempting to change.
(As a bit of clarification, I should note that while a great deal of my self-worth is derived from others, as an introvert I derive my energy from within. Indeed, I need time to myself to recharge after spending time with other people. Hence the unfortunate irony of my nature.)
That all slowly began to change, however, for a variety of reasons. First of all, I realized that it was quite boring. As a new blogger I began to seek out blogs that I would be interested in reading. I quickly discovered, though, that the personal blogs were often difficult to follow. After all, how could you understand the posts without first knowing the author's history? As I also mentioned already, these blogs were usually boring without intimate knowledge about the author.
There was also a second, more pragmatic reason for the shift in my writing--Blogger was purchased by Google. After that business deal went through, all the blogs that were hosted by Blogger were indexed by Google. (This conclusion is not derived by direct evidence, but rather from personal experience and therefore may not be valid.) As I tracked referrals to my site, I noticed a large increase in google searches. I had not anticipated it being possible to discover my site via search engines and thus did not hesitate to use my real name or the name of my college and other specific personal details. It was not too long, then, before a friend of mine discovered my blog on google.
I panicked. I quickly went back and literally censored my blog. I deleted information in posts and, in a few cases, posts entirely. Those that have been around from the beginning may have noticed this change, and those posts still reflect that purge. I was now in an even more unfortunate situation than I was before. My posts were still boring and now even lacked the 'juicy' personal thoughts. It was time for a fundamental shift in my approach to blogging.
I knew that I did not want to stray too far from my original intent for blogging, but the public, personal journal was no longer an option. I did not wish to delve into the world of pundits, for reasons that could encompass another massive post, but there was another option I was not fully considering. I could still blog about personal events, but rather than appealing the audience's voyeuristic tendencies, I could appeal to their sense of humor.
On August 12 of last year, I came across a (then) little-known blog called Where the Hell Was I?. Here I read about how this bizarre person named Charlie faced everyday obstacles in refreshingly humorous ways. Following his blogroll a bit, I found other authors dedicated to the same cause. Their intent is almost always humor, but humor that is derived from everyday life, much in the same way a good stand-up comedian derives his material. For good or for ill, I followed Charlie's example and started making light of my everyday life. "It isn't healthy to take yourself too seriously" became my motto, and I have since shamelessly flaunted (and in a few cases embellished) my life for the amusement of others.
My focus defined, the next step was to secure an audience. I registered my blog at every blog listing website I could find, but how was I supposed to stand out among the thousands of other blogs at each site? Clearly there had to be a better way. While I wanted to increase my audience base, there were two things I was determined not to do.
The first of which was to increase traffic via google. Other bloggers discovered this phenomenon by accident, while others have intentionally put phrases in their blogs to drive up hits. While I have no doubt that mentioning something about a girl named after a French capital in a multimedia presentation would bring in a great deal more traffic, there needs to be made a distinction between hits and loyal viewers. Secondly, I would not go around linking to popular blogs in the hopes that I could receive a link in return. As blogrolls continue to grow exponentially, the value of the outgoing links is severely diminished to the point where most viewers won't even skim the list of links, much less use them. I was determined to keep my own blogroll short and effective.
This inevitably meant, then, that I was going to have to earn my fans through competitions and through exceptional writing. Despite those that clamor on about the inequality between traffic and quality, I have seen several cases where excellent blogs can quickly earn a solid fan base simply by word of mouth.
I have since entered into various competitions, primarily as a way to gain further exposure for Walking Stick. Some of them have been meaningless popularity contests, others, such as Blog Madness (which has just begun), offer at least the hope of realistic results. I also recently received my weblog review, which has also brought several curious viewers to this site.
So where I am now? My average daily hits are still rather modest, but I do have several dedicated followers out there. I have also achieved my goal of increasing the number of hits to this site each month over the last six months. I am quite proud of that accomplishment and with the recent improvements, expect that trend to proceed for the foreseeable future.
The nature of my posts and the audience they seek have also changed little since I redefined my focus. I still write to primarily to amuse, although I do allow myself more personal details as I now have several friends and long-time followers of this blog checking in. I still it difficult to achieve that pleasant mix of humor and personal news, but the process has gotten much more refined over the last few months. I was very proud to read, then, my weblog reviewer when he wrote, "This blog is a must-read, because there are only a few blogs out there which succeed in giving each and every post a personality."
While the intention of the posts of Walking Stick have stayed the same for the last several months, my reasons for blogging have changed. When I began, I was seeking an outlet for my thoughts as well as new acquaintances. I was lonely and was seeking acceptance in whatever form I could. Now, most all of that has fallen by the wayside. I have a girlfriend of over four months now, I have settled into a new group of friends, and generally find my life to be fulfilling both socially, academically, and spiritually. So what is my motivation now?
That's a good question, and perhaps the reason I began this long essay in the first place. One reason, which is hardly a good one, is that I've already put so much work into making this endeavor a successful one that it would be ridiculous to quit now. More importantly, though, I enjoy doing it. I enjoy being apart of this enormous blogging community. I enjoy making others laugh and getting to know new people. I enjoy having my own small corner of the internet. I also enjoy the friendships I've made along the way. Granted, I've never met anyone on my blogroll in person, but it's been an enjoyable experience exchanging emails with people from around the world. No, these blogging relationships will never be able to replace what some might call "real" friends, but it does make this hobby worthwhile.
In all respects then, that is how I view blogging--as a society. Blogs have become so prolific in the last few years that virtually everyone is represented. Indeed, this large society in which we participate in some ways mirrors the societies which we are involved with on a daily basis. As a society, the blogging world has its positives and negatives, and I honestly have not explored enough of it to give you a nice, concise summary. I will tell you, though, that I have enjoyed finding my own niche in this society, and will hopefully continue to do so for quite a while.
