So this is how the other half lives

and by half I mean about 95% or so.

I'm so glad I'm a mac user. Now, I realize that I try to keep this blog moderately neutral on hot topics like religion, politics, and computer platform choices. So, forgive me this one indulgence.

I just spend 45 minutes trying to burn a CD with a staggering two songs. No problem, right? Wrong. The first problem was apparently the first two attempts were using not the CD burner, but rather a disk image creator. Now, I'm not saying that shouldn't be an option, but it also shouldn't be the freakin' default. It's a good thing I know my way around computers, because my girlfriend had no idea what the problem was. I had to find some obscure option menu and manually select the actual CD-burning drive. What a mess. Oh, and I got to the see blue screen of death twice during this ordeal.

Sometime people ask me why I prefer macs. Well, as much as I love Jonathan Ive's designs and the iApps, I would simply have to say that the computer just works. It does what it's supposed to do without getting in my way. I'm a geek, have taking programming courses, and enjoying messing around with computers, but sometimes I just want my computer to work. Period. That is why I use a mac.

(Fade to white, display Apple logo, and return to Samurai Jack.)

Man, I love Samurai Jack. I've only seen a handful of episodes, but I think I can safely say that it is one quality cartoon. Sure, it's no Family Guy, Futurama, or Home Movies, but there is something about the extremely overly-dramatic animation that really rocks my face off! I mean, c'mon, in what other cartoon are you going to get mega-widescreen animation? Huh? What was that? That's what I thought.

(Don't worry, I'm seeing a psycho therapist for my interaction with an audience that isn't...well...here. I mean sure, you're sitting at your computer there in , but you aren't here in my room, actually talking to me. At least, that's what the shrink says. "Blah blah blah, I have letters after my name so I'm smarter than you, blah blah blah.")

(For any of my professors that stumbled onto this site...I of course did not include you in the above sentiment.)

Anywho, the topic that I really wanted to address was incorporating new phrases into your vocabulary. My girlfriend is the jiggidy jammiest when it comes to using phrases, and I thought I would encourage you to do the same by pointing out some of my favorites. While I would encourage you to use these, I would also encourage you to make up your own. You'd be surprised how much people understand the most random phrases when placed in the right context and delivered with the right conviction. Give it a try. I don't think you'll be disappointed. So here are some of my favorites:

Rock your face off! - "That roast beef was so good it rocked my face off!" The origin of this phrase is quite difficult to pinpoint. My former roommate first introduced me to the phrase, and he got it from some guy who heard it somewhere else. All I know is that the phrase seems to be localized here in Kirksville, MO. I've already convinced a student from Australia to take it back to her native land. In exchange, she gave me some fun Australian phrases.

Jiggidy Jam - "Jonathan Ive is the Jiggidy Jam." You may have heard someone say that something was "the Jam" before (kinda like "da bomb", in the non-nuclear sense), but the "Jiggidy" is used as an intensifier.

Snap! - "Oh snap! I forgot there was a test today." This is more common than the aforementioned phrases, but it's better than using the word shit in my opinion.

That's Quality - "Wow, fat guy in a speedo. Now that's quality." This phrase is typically used ironically. However, if something is really cool, you could also say that it's quality. This is a very flexible phrase.

Margaret Thatcher - *Stubs toe* "Margaret Thatcher!" Now, I don't mean to offend my friends in the UK by using her name as an expletive, but it's a lot of fun, and less offensive than the alternative. No, seriously, I'm a fan of Margaret Thatcher and British politics in general. I even enjoy watching Questions for the Prime Minister when I catch it on C-Span. I just find that her name is fun to use in certain occasions.

Well, I think I've offended enough people for this post. Time to move on to your...

Thought for the Day

My favorite oxymoron - Microsoft Works!

Ok, that really wasn't it, I just had to get that out of my system.

Women needed to test orgasm machine.

Some of the highlights -

"'I thought people would be beating my door down to become part of the trial,' pain specialist Dr Stuart Meloy told New Scientist magazine Wednesday."

"You're going to have to teach my husband how to do that."

Yeah, I don't think I have anything to add.