Definitively proving that you are, once again, comparatively normal.
Yesterday I went golfing. Now while I may not go golfing that often (it was August since I last went), but still this isn't necessarily a bizarre statement in and of itself. Let's look at some other clues, then, to see why I would make that statement.
Well, for starters, this post is dated December 21, and while I am talking about the past here, we're still looking at December 20th. Technically, it's still fall (only by what, two days?). But still, it's well into December, so it should be cold.
But wait, you say, where do you live? After all, I bet December in, let's say, Nevada would be pretty nice. In fact, they were just having a professional golf event in Nevada, so it must be nice around there. Well, if you had been doing any of your homework, you'd know that I'm from Missouri, and MO can get cold.
Yes, I went golfing on December 20th, and it wasn't even particularly warm weather, either. Indeed, I lost a golf ball... in the snow... in the fairway. Oh, and the ponds were frozen over as well. Actually, that part was pretty cool. If you've ever bounced a golf ball across a lake, you know what a mean. Oh sure, technically I should have gotten a penalty, but the ball made it to the other side, didn't it? Yeah, that's what I thought, punk.
Ok, I'm sorry.
(Don't insult the readers, don't insult the readers.)
And we're back in 5... 4... 3... 2...
(cue music and lights)
Now, you may think that I was a little crazy for golfing in this weather, but I was prepared. Or, at least my dad and his golfing buddy were.
You see, not only did my dad have gloves, stocking cap, extra layers all packed with his golf equipment, but he also had the cart ready to go as well. He and his regular golfing buddy actually purchased a large, see-through, plastic cover for the cart. Something very similar to this. Now, this in and off itself merely blocks the wind and not necessarily the cold, but to solve that, they purchased a portable, propane space heater that actually fits in the cup holder in the cart. Amazing.
Signs that you are golfing a little too much.
Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed considerably the warmth our little space heater provided, but I just thought you guys should know what lengths some people will go to for golf.
In keeping with the topic of golf, then, I think I'll offer a few of my favorite quotes:
"Golf is a good walk spoiled." -Mark Twain.
"Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out of doors." -Paul O'Neil
"The most exquisitely satisfying act in the world of golf is that of throwing a club. The full backswing, the delayed wrist action, the flowing follow-through, followed by that unique whirring sound, reminiscent of a passing flock of birds, are without parallel in sport." -Henry Longhurst
And finally...
"Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them." -Jimmy Demaret.
As it turns out, though, I played remarkably well, even beating my dad out of a bet. I guess I should play in the cold more often.
Thought for the Day
Of course, if sex is anything like golf...
I'll be really bad when I first start, I'll have to work incessantly to even get the basics down, it'll require an inhuman amount of coordination, every time I think I get the hang of it something else will go wrong, eventually I'll only get in a few rounds per year, and I'll end up with a sore back every time.
Who know, maybe eventually that statement will be out there in quotes followed by a dash and my name. One can only hope.
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